My 100th post

I'm jumping on the blogging bandwagon today, with a fabulous interview by my dear cyber-friend Silly Hily! I just love this chick! She and I are very similar, and she's also the very first person who found out I was pregnant, because she was the one who said I should just take a damn test when I was totally in the denial phase! :) So, here we go! An interview of me, by Silly Hily!

1.) Let's get the serious one out of the way first so we can have some fun: Do you think NBC went overboard with the VA Tech "package" that the killer mailed them? I mean, do you think we really needed to see that sick human being pointing a gun at us through our TV or newspaper?

I definitely think that the pictures and video sent by the gunman to NBC were WAY overused. Was it newsworthy that the killer sent the package to NBC? Most definitely. Should the material have been shared with the public? I do think it should have been, at least initially. However, where I object as a journalist, is when you open a magazine or newspaper and see a huge picture of this guy pointing that gun at us. Pure shock value. My television station actually made the decision to NOT air those photos because of their disturbing nature. We also thought that it wasn't right to show them, because airing them would have been satisfying the gunman's desires. He wanted those pics and videos to be shown all over the country, and he wanted his name and his rantings to be front page news. My station didn't feel comfortable with the idea of giving him exactly what he wanted.

2.) What will be your first alcoholic beverage that you treat yourself to after you give birth? (Nothing like changing the subject, huh?)

Oh my gosh, I have been dreaming about this, which is sad because I'm not even a huge drinker! But still... I've been craving a really good glass of white wine, and a cold beer on the patio this summer. If I have to pick just one drink to have first... I'd like to have a chilled, minty mojito. Jason had one a few weeks ago when we were out for dinner, and I did take a sip or two, and my god it tasted like heaven!

3.) I can't believe it's almost time for you to have that baby! Are you ready? Do you have your bags packed?

EEK! A child is about to exit my body via my vagina! In a matter of weeks! Um, obviously I am not quite mentally ready, but I can tell you my body is most definitely tired of being pregnant. My feet are killing me, and my back is having some not-so-good-days. In terms of actual preparedness for having a tiny little human live in our home, we're doing pretty good! We are almost finished the nursery and just have to hang curtains and a few pictures. My shower was last weekend and this kid is so spoiled. He has enough clothes for about 5 outfit changes per day. I've even washed most of his stuff already. We have almost all the baby gear we need, and what we do have has been assembled by Daddy. I do have to pack my hospital bag soon, but I was sort of hoping that by leaving it unpacked, the baby might decide to come early and play a joke on us. :) We're almost there!

4.) Rate your pregnancy on a scale from 1-10 (of course, 1 being "sucks monkey balls what in the hell was I thinking" and 10 being "how long do I have to wait to get knocked up again?").

Hmm. I've been so lucky to be healthy and relatively comfortable during the past nine months. However, I am most definitely not ready to get knocked up again! The pros of my pregnancy: relatively no morning sickness, healthy throughout, no issues with pain until very recently. The cons: just in the past week or so, I've been having some back pain, indigestion, and my feet are swelling and hurting a little. Oh, and the one little 'roid I had, although it went away! Woo hoo (and sorry for the TMI, there).

Probably the worst part of my pregnancy has been the weight gain. Right now, I'm carrying 40 extra pounds on my frame. It makes me tired, and it's been tough to see the extra fat on my thighs and upper arms, and the chipmunk cheeks I developed. But I can't say that's the baby's fault... I've just been enjoying food a little too much!

Bottom line... I'd rate this pregnancy an 8. I definitely look forward to having another, just not super soon. But ask me this question again, after I push this baby out of my special place. Maybe I'll re-think things... who knows!

5.) Do you think Katie Holmes is seriously as trapped and insecure and stupid and sad and pathetic as the media is making her out to be?

I knew Hilary wouldn't be able to avoid a question about our mutual love of celebrity gossip! I definitely think there is something odd about Katie and Tom's relationship. When I look at candid photos of her from back in her Dawson's Creek days, she seems happy, fun, and normal. Now she definitely has a sort of glazed-over look to her eyes. She just seems so different from the old Katie. I don't know if she is trapped or just brainwashed, but something is definitely weird about her. I just hope if she is trapped and sad, that she finds a way out. Tom seems like he could be very controlling, and for her sake and her daughter's, I hope she'd be able to get it together and leave if it is a bad situation.

Now, enough about me and my opinions on the relationships of the stars! Here's what happens next:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." (If I don't have your email address already, either leave it in the comment or email me at kfodel at comcast dot net)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Nearly 36 weeks pregnant.

My husband took these pictures of me last night. I'm due one month from today. All I can say about this photo is Oh.My.God.



Should you not be sufficiently shocked and/or terrified, may I present the FRONT view.

Not only does this give you a great view of my whacked out linea negra (why is it so lopsided?) but you get the bonus double chin effect. Sexxxaayyy.

P.S. Dear 18 year old Kelly: Why, oh why did you get that stupid belly button piercing? Oh sure, you thought it looked so cute on your taut little stomach that summer. But did you ever stop to think about what that scar might look like when those formerly tight abs were stretched to their limit around your burgeoning baby belly? Obviously not. Stupid girl. With love, your older (and wiser) self.

But on a brighter note... did you all notice? No stretch marks! WOOT! (Knocking on every piece of wood I can find.)

Don't screw with me.

If you worked with me... the following is an exchange that you might have heard yesterday. Note: names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the stupid).

Scene: The Hallway

John: walking down hall toward pregnant woman with just weeks left until her due date
"Hey everyone! Watch out for the large lady taking up the whole hall. Wow, she's HUGE!"

Pregnant lady: giving John the stare of death
"Wow, John. That is the fucking funniest thing I have ever heard. Fuck you."

End scene.

Love letter

Dear Baby Boy,

It seems like yesterday that I stared at that pregnancy test in shock. I'd taken pregnancy tests before, but they never showed two pink lines. I honestly wasn't expecting to see those double lines when I glanced at this test, but there they were. There YOU were. Or at least, there was my knowledge that you existed. Sure, you might have been microscopic at that early stage, but you were there, and there was no denying that my life was about to change dramatically because of you.

The ensuing months have brought many changes to my life. Some that I expected, some that I didn't. I never knew how anxious I would be about losing you early in my pregnancy. I rented one of those dopplers that lets you hear a baby's heartbeat, and I used it obsessively. The day was always better when I could begin with the tiny "thump thump thump" of your heart. Your daddy used to make fun of me for using the doppler so much, but he would wait anxiously, too, as I tried to find your little heartbeat.

Those first few months had their ups and downs. I enjoyed the fact that not too many people knew about you. You were a delicious little secret for your daddy and me. The only other people who knew were our inner circle of our parents, siblings, and grandparents, and they were thrilled to learn that you were on your way.

In hindsight, I am so glad that we shared the news with our grandparents. You see, when I was just 11 weeks pregnant with you, my grandmother (your great-grandma) died suddenly of a heart attack. It was heartbreaking for me, because we were so close and she was so very excited about you. You would have been her first great-grandchild, and she couldn't wait for you to arrive. I'm still so sad that you will never be able to meet her, and she you. But you should know that you were loved by so many people, even when you were just a tiny little being.

We found out that you were a boy, when I was about halfway through my pregnancy. I wasn't shocked, because there are lots of boys on your daddy's side of the family. I have to admit that I was a little scared at first. I mean, I don't know much about boys, and don't you guys like dirt and bugs and snakes? Your mommy really isn't into that sort of stuff. But then I started hearing stories from other moms, who said their relationships with their little boys are fantastic, and that nothing can compare to the love between a mommy and her boy. I realized that dirt and bugs and snakes might actually be FUN, as long as I'm hanging out with you. So, please know, little boy, that you're exactly what I never knew I wanted.

Feeling you move in my tummy was so amazing. Those first little flutters were my first real clue that there really was a reason that my belly was growing! But those first flickering movements couldn't have prepared me for what I feel now. You've grown so big and strong, and now Daddy and I watch my belly and laugh, as you make it lurch from one side to the other. You're obviously getting tired of the cramped quarters in there. You're a very predictable boy, and you like to stay in pretty much the same position all the time while you wiggle from head to toe. Speaking of those toes... you like to stretch them out, resulting in a big lump on my right side. When I touch that spot, you'll pull your feet back and then kick at me, as if to say, "let me stretch!"

Your Daddy is having fun with you now, as you respond when he presses or touches my stomach. He talks to you and tells you all the fun things you'll do together. You should know that your Dad already loves you very much, and he's already worried about being the best father he can be. You'll love him... I know I do. You're very lucky to have him as your daddy.

We only have a few more weeks to go until we get to officially meet for the first time. On one hand, those days are really dragging, and I'm getting impatient. Not to mention, I am very tired lately... apparently growing boys really sap a lot of energy from their mamas! But I'm also aware that these next couple of weeks will fly by, and soon you'll be here. I think I'll miss carrying you in my belly, but I know I'll always carry you in my heart.

We still don't know what your name will be. We had a short list of ideas for what to call you, but we're woefully inadequate at committing to one of them. In fact, we are moving in the wrong direction right now, and expanding that list instead of narrowing things down. I'm sorry we can't tell you yet what your name will be, but we think we'll have a better idea once we can meet you and see who you really are.

I'm so excited to see you, and hold you, and to see who you look like. Will you have my eyes? Your daddy's nose? My smile? Daddy's ears? Soon, the mystery that is you will be revealed to us, and we'll get to start a new journey together. I can't wait to begin.

Until then, keep growing big (well, not too big, please, for mommy's sake!) and strong. We'll see you soon. You'll know who we are.... I'll be the woman grinning from ear to ear, reaching out to snuggle you and give you your first kiss. Your daddy will be the teary-eyed guy, probably with a camera, with a shocked but proud look on his face. We're your parents, and we can't wait to meet you.

Love,
your mama

Footsie wootsie

I was on such a good roll with updating my blog recently, and then things sort of fell apart late last week.

First, my husband had to have surgery on his foot. Then I spent all weekend taking care of him and had barely any time to myself. Then Monday came around and all hell broke loose at my television station after the tragedy at Virginia Tech. I'm just now coming up for some air.

Thanks for your suggestions on things to ask the pediatrician. We met with the doctor and were really, really happy with him. First of all, he spent nearly an hour with us, and we were his last appointment of the night. Rather than rush through our meeting to get home, he was friendly and took lots of time to explain how the practice operates. He has a real passion for his job, and says the doctors in this practice will not turn away a sick child. They've been known to make office appointments up to midnight if that is what it takes to see everyone who needs care. We were also very happy to learn that even though this is a group practice, we can have our son seen by this one pediatrician all the time, rather than hop from one doctor to another. So, overall, a very good visit, and we're definitely going with this pediatrician.

On to my poor hubby. Jason has a pretty interesting condition called Accessory Navicular Syndrome, which is fancy wording for "has extra bones in his feet which are pretty painful." Actually, about 10 percent of the population has this extra bone, but only a small amount have a lot of pain. Jason's one of those few. His tendons are stretched over this bone, and his feet ache and throb when he spends a lot of time on them. Plus, it's pretty crazy looking, too. He has a big bump just below his ankle... that actually looks like a second ankle. You can kinda see it in this crappy cell phone pic I took of his foot.


After trying all kinds of shoe inserts and orthotics, the pain just wasn't going away, so he had to get surgery. And now that bump is gone. And now I have this hilarious pic of my husband in a hairnet. He looks so pleased, no? You'd think he'd be happy about getting his picture taken just before a surgeon slices into his foot!

The surgery went well, but Jason has to be in a hard cast for four weeks, then a walking cast for another four weeks. Right now, and until the hard cast comes off, he is on crutches and can't bear any weight on his foot. If you're keeping track, that means he won't be out of the cast and off crutches until I am 38 weeks pregnant. I know.... it's not the best timing. But we figured it would be way worse for him to wait and have the surgery after the baby is born, because he can't do much when he's on crutches.

In other news, a good friend of mine just had her baby girl on Monday. She was actually due about 2 weeks before me, but went into labor at 36 weeks. Holy crap! That means I am next! And if this boy comes early, my aching back would rejoice, but I would then be stuck with an infant and also another baby (who goes by the name of Jason) who both need a lot of TLC. Bottom line: this child better not be born before 38 weeks! But if that did happen, oh, the crazy stories I could tell!

Is there a doctor in the house??

Happy to report that I did not need to bitch slap the doctor last night. She intelligently skimmed over the issue of my weight and just said, "Blood pressure looks good, weight is fine, urinalysis is fine, too." I won't take that as affirmation of my admittedly questionable eating habits (ice cream for breakfast, anyone?) but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Oh, and if you are keeping track, I've gained about 35 pounds. But I swear, it's all in my belly. And maybe just a little in my ass and thighs. But only a little. The power of positive thinking, right?

Speaking of the belly, I'll need to post a new pic of myself soon. I haven't taken a pic for a few weeks, so I'm sure there will be a dramatic visual difference. This weekend I'll be 34 weeks! That means I should only have about 6 weeks to go. And if this boy would come a little bit early, his mama would be so happy. But I'm not counting on that!

I do need to pick the brains of all you moms (and non-moms, too... if you have any ideas). I'm meeting with our (potential) pediatrician tonight, and I need some questions to ask him. That way I'll look like a sooper smarrtt mother who is oh-so-involved-in-her-child's-healthcare. Any suggestions of things I should ask? Issues that I might not be thinking about? Help a newbie out, here!

Celebrity shizz about to hit the fan

Anyone else feeling way too excited about the DNA paternity results for Anna Nicole's baby? I'm hearing that the announcement will be made at 2:30 this afternoon. Seriously, I know I am super pathetic for being so caught up in this, but I can't help it. My money's on Larry Birkhead as the baby-daddy.

And also...

Ate ice cream for breakfast again this morning.
Have an OB appointment tonight.
May possibly break the scale.
Will bitch slap my doctor if she looks at me cross-eyed for the weight I have gained.
What can I say? Baby is HUNGRY! And he happens to love ice cream, just like his mama does.

UPDATED TO ADD: Larry Birkhead is the daddy. And in a surprising twist, it seems Howard K. isn't going to challenge the results. In fact, he hugged Birkhead and was quoted as saying that Birkhead is welcome at his Bahamas home to be with Dannielynn and visit with her, until the custody would switch over. It seems like maybe Howard actually has the baby's best interests at heart... I hope so!

I also hope Anna's mother Virgie Arthur isn't successful in her bid for custody. 'Cause we all saw how she did as Anna's mom... should she really get a second shot to mess up a poor child's life?

Have worries? Eat ice cream!

Ya'll are some great internet buddies. A big "thank you" for your empathy and rational, helpful suggestions following my recent daycare breakdown. I'm still fighting the urge to obsess about the issue, but I've calmed down considerably since last week. We had a really nice weekend and I was reminded once again of the cure-all for all dilemmas:

Dear Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream:

I love you. I love your minty, chocolately goodness. I love how you can be cool and refreshing, while maintaining that touch of sweetness. I love how satisfied and happy I feel while consuming a big 'ole bowl of your fantastic flavor.

I do not, however, look forward to stepping on the scale at the doctor's office tomorrow. But you taste so good I might just forgive you.

Love,
Kelly

Damn that stuff is amazing. And addicting. I ate some for breakfast this morning, and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. For me, nothing can top the mint chocolate chip flavor. Jason thinks it is gross, and he prefers the coffee flavor, but I'm kinda glad we like different ice cream. That way, we each get our own tub of it... all to ourselves! :)

What's your favorite ice cream? Apologies in advance for the onset of cravings you're probably experiencing due to all this yummy dessert talk!

No one loves you like your mama

I had a pretty sobering experience yesterday, as I went to check out a daycare during my lunchbreak. I've done so much research on potential caregivers, and this place was not only recommended by a coworker, but it actually has hours that work with my schedule (I work until 6pm and lots of places around here require pickup by 6pm at the latest, which I can't arrange).

The center I visited is not only state-certified, but it is a recommended daycare for going "above and beyond" state requirements. The caregivers seemed nice and playful with the children. They answered all my questions and let me walk through every classroom.

But when I left that center, I sat in my car and cried. Just cried. My little boy isn't even here yet, and I feel such guilt and trepidation about leaving him in the care of someone who isn't his family member. Someone who isn't his mommy. Leaving him somewhere where he'll be just one of many babies who needs care and attention.

My outpouring of emotion almost sounds silly to me, when I think about our situation. We're so lucky that my sister's college schedule will allow her to babysit Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (at least through January, and maybe even next semester, too, if she can work it out.) He'll be with a close family member who no doubt will adore him, in our home, three days a week. So I'm only looking for daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but even that is freaking me out.

I am having such a hard time figuring out what will work best for our family. In a way, I almost wish we were one of those families in which both parents absolutely HAD to work. Something that could make this a no-brainer. But we could probably work it out for me to stay home. My husband is a hard worker and makes a great salary, and he's poised to make even more career strides soon. If I stayed home, would we have to budget and be careful with our money? Yes. Would we be able to put 25% of our salaries away in savings and investments and college plans the way we do now? Of course not. Would I want Jason to have all the pressure of being the breadwinner for our family? No. But we could make it work.

The problem is, and the real issue that's eating away at me, is that I don't want to give up my career. I've worked long and hard to get to my position today. TV anchor jobs are few and far between, and I've been fortunate to achieve what I have at my young age. Plus, I'm very well-compensated for my work. Could we live without my salary? Probably. But my god, its such a great salary that I'd feel silly for just throwing it away. I worry that if I did quit working, even for a few years, that I wouldn't be able to get back in the game. I worry that the decisions I make now will make or break my career in the future. But then I think about my little boy, and all these things I just wrote make me feel very selfish and greedy.

What I would love is to be able to work part time. To continue anchoring, but just come in in the afternoons and do the newscasts, instead of being at the TV station all day long. To spend the mornings with my son, and the afternoons with my job. A balance that would let me have it all. I do plan to propose this to my bosses, but I don't know if they'll go for it. And if they don't... then I have some huge decisions to make.

I know this issue is one that every mother faces. I know I'm not the first to feel this way. But my visceral reaction to that daycare center yesterday makes me wonder how tough it is going to be to make my choice... when my baby is actually here cuddling in my arms, instead of just growing in my belly.

Jason and I have decided to take the "wait and see" approach. Just wait and see what our lives are like when the baby is born, wait until I can make my proposal to my boss during maternity leave, and wait to see what it really feels like to be a parent. Hopefully we'll have many good options, and the best path for our family will become clear for us. In the meantime, it feels good to pour my heart out here.

Thanks for listening.

Now in 3D!!

I mentioned about a month ago that we got a 3D ultrasound of the baby... but then I never posted any pics. Why? Because this child takes after his father, and is oh-so-very stubborn. (Okay, he takes after his mama, too.) The point is, he was snuggled into a very comfortable spot with his hands in his mouth, and absolutely refused to give us a good look at his face. Sure, we saw an ear here, a bit of his nose there, but not the whole face. Fortunately, the ultrasound tech said we could come back to try again, and hopefully he would be more cooperative.

"Take two" was this weekend, so we headed back to Womb With A View. Seriously, that's what the place is called. It's so creative and corny it almost kills me. Thank goodness, Baby Brat did show us a little more kindness this time around, although he still shows a real affinity for having his hands in or near his mouth.

So here are a few of the pics! He's 32 weeks here, and starting to fill out with lots of baby fat!

Sweet little face. :) The odd looking cloud over the left side of his face is the placenta. He loves to curl up in it, so I suppose it is nice and soft and cozy. On the right, you can see that he's curled his arm up next to his cheek.

Utterly adorable hands and feet. The hand is at the top, the foot is at the bottom. I cannot wait to nibble on those toes!

This is one of many images that shows his little mouth open. By the looks of things, he is going to be a champion nurser. We saw him lick or suck on everything he could grab, including his hands, fingers, and even the umbilical cord!

Baby says: "Mom, stop taking pictures already! Am getting majorly ticked off at being prodded while I try to nap! Geez!"

"Ok, that's it, I have had enough. I shall hide my face so you can't see me anymore. How do you like that, huh?? Oh, great. Now you want to take 50 pictures of my ear. Lovely. Hey, I have an idea! I have a middle finger to show you guys!"

Just kidding. He didn't flip the bird at his parents. But man, wouldn't that have been a great picture for his baby book?