Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Holy crap...
I think my dream job just became available... anchoring the news in my hometown of Baltimore. This is so freaking unreal, because these types of jobs hardly ever open up. People tend to stay in their positions for a looooong time. And the fact that this job has opened up at the same time as I am finishing the last few months of my current television contract in PA.... wow.

I'm well aware that it's extremely competitive and I may not even get the job, but I am psyched anyway. Plus, I think I have a better shot because I've already met the hiring manager a few years ago and he liked me a lot, but thought I was still a little too "green" to work in as big a TV market as Baltimore. He gave me some great tips and suggested I reapply in a couple of years. So here I am!!

I'll keep ya'll posted as to what happens!!

Thursday, January 12, 2006
And now, what you've all been waiting for!!!
Here ya go, internet. I'm adding my own little bit of porn to the millions of pictures out there on the web. And the main ingredient here? No, you naughty people, I'm not talking about fake boobs. The main ingredient of my porn is SUGAR. Sugar cookie porn, that is.

First, here I am with my lovely little sister Kasey, preparing the dough for our little project. And on the left is my grandmom. Hey, just cause you can join the AARP doesn't mean you don't enjoy a little cookie porn!
Rather than bore you with pictures from each step ( like rolling the dough and cutting it out) I'll just give you a peek at what you REALLY want. It's a little blurry, but you'll see what matters most.
Yes, dear friends. That little cookie-man there is quite well-endowed, isn't he? Equipped with two lovingly-rolled testicles and a pretty impressive penis, if I do say so myself. As for the red tip, we guessed that he was messing around without a little cookie protection for his man-parts. Safe sex, cookie-man. Won't you ever learn?

But please notice how this little cookie-man is standing at attention. Sadly, that's gonna change... after we subject him to the heat of the oven. And he thought hooking up with the sexy cookie-girl next to him on the tray was really *hot.* He has NO IDEA how hot it's gonna get.

So, here we are getting ready to pop him in the oven. On this tray, look closely and you'll see his betrothed, who we call "cookie-woman with the monstrous boobies" all ready for bake-off. Yea, can you tell I'm excited?

But friends, during the course of baking, something went horribly wrong for cookie-man. Alas, in the incredible heat of the oven, he just couldn't bear the pressure and lost his mojo. Behold, cookie-man with the wilted penis. And his girlfriend, cookie woman with the monstrous boobies, who is laughing at his dilemma. And cookie-man was sad.

Poor cookie-man. He just couldn't win. Even the two crazy chicks who created him couldn't stop laughing at his predicament.

But the worst was yet to come for the poor guy. After days of being ridiculed and paraded around at holiday parties like he was some sort of JOKE, for god's sake, cookie man was consumed in a hunger-induced sugar craving. Guess he shouldn't have gotten all smart and said, "Eat me!" Bad move, cookie-man.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
All about me... kinda
Feeling sort of bored and looking for a little fun to occupy my time. Since I don't have the cookie porn pics here at work to upload (I mean, who keeps pictures of cookies with well-shaped penises and breasts on their work computers?) I thought I'd do a little survey that I got tagged with.

So here goes.... FOUR THINGS.

1)Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought: combos, gas, sandwich, water

2)Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink: Diet Dr. Pepper, Iced Tea, Water, Coke

3)Last Time You Cried: During King Kong. What a freakin' depressing movie. Poor monkey!

4)What's In Your CD Player: Ben Folds "Rockin' the Suburbs"

5)What's Under Your Bed: Nothing, except dust bunnies and some pet hair

6)What Time Did You Wake Up Today: 6:30

7)Current Hair: ponytail

8)Current Clothes: white tuxedo shirt, black pants

9)Current Desktop Picture: Jason and me on our wedding day

10)Current Worry: Looking for a possible new TV anchoring job since my current contract is up this spring.

11)Current Hate: Crowds. Humans just remind me of a bunch of swarming ants sometimes.

12)Favorite Places To Be: at home, snuggling with my honey

13)Least Favorite Place: depending on the day... at work

14)If You Could Play An Instrument, it would be: piano and guitar

15)Favorite Colors: fall colors, like red, yellow and orange

16)How Tall Are You: 5'2"

17) Favorite expression: "I'm not bitter."

18)One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To: my great-aunt Vera

19)Favorite Day(s): My weekends, and Thanksgiving

20)Where Would You Like To Go: Australia and Italy

21)Where do you want to live when you get married: already married, but wanna live close to our families.

22)Favorite food: PASTA. I am totally addicted to the stuff

23)Color of most clothes you own: black, blue, and cream

24)Number of pillows you sleep with: 1

25)What do you wear when you go to sleep: on a god night, nothing :)

26)What were you doing 12AM last night: sleeping!

27)How old will you be in 10 yrs: 35. holy crap.

28)What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years: Hopefully will be a mom and anchoring for a major TV market (Philly, Baltimore, or D.C.)

29)Have you ever had braces: no

30)Are you paranoid: not usually

31)Do you burn or tan: tan very well

32)What is the brand of your wallet: wilson's leather

33)First piercing/tattoo: ears

34)First enemy: this mean boy named Kelly in elementary school. he told me Kelly wasn't allowed to be a girl's name.

35)Last person you yelled at: can't remember the last time I yelled.

36)Last thing you ate: Pear

So that's a little more about me. Promise to post the cookie porn pics ASAP. Oh and I have another cool story about work to share. This week I got to be in the operating room for an OPEN HEART SURGERY. Totally freaking cool. More details later. That's all for now, kids!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Happy Friday (to me)
Even though it's technically Wednesday, I don't work again until Saturday morning. So HAPPY FRIDAY! Big plans for my two days off include cleaning our house...
and snuggling with my puppy dogs... here's a pic of my Golden Retriever Sophie, at about 4 months old. She's 6 months now and weighs 55 pounds! My girl is big boned, okay?!?

And of course, what would a few days off be without my sweet hubby. Hope to do a little "snuggling" with him too!

Next time I post, I'll have some fabulous pictures of what I like to call COOKIE PORN. These are some fabulous pictures of our annual Christmas Cookie baking. My mom, sister, grandmom and I get together at my house to bake up goodies. But somehow, my sister and I always end up making some of the sugar cookies... shall we say... anatomically correct? :) Oh yes, the dough was (ahem) rising... and I have the pics to prove it. Promise to post those next time!