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Monday, October 29, 2007
night owl
Bah. I spoke too soon. The Boy fought hard tonight when I tried to put him to bed. Much yowling, howling, and shrieking ensued (he did most of it). In the end, I gave up and just held him for a while, and he looked around with wide-open eyes and gave me some sweet little grins and even kisses. I think he's learning how to kiss. He'll put his hand on my cheek and lean in, mouth wide open, until his lips touch mine and he can drool on me.* So sweet, especially when you think that he was screaming like a demon child five minutes earlier.

Anyway, I finally got him into bed at 11. Better late than never, I suppose! And now I am here, holding my breath and typing verrry quietly, hoping that he'll sleep for a good long chunk of time.

*Oh my God, I have become such a.... mother. To think that I'd ever regard someone depositing drool on my mouth as being remotely cute! Am hopeless. Hopelessly infatuated, I think.

Sunday, October 28, 2007
Baby whispering
My good sleeper seems to have returned. (Knocking on wood!) This week I started reading the Baby Whisperer and really liked her ideas about getting your baby to sleep. I'm just not comfortable with letting Aiden "cry it out," but I also didn't want him to become dependent on nursing to sleep or sleeping with me all the time.

I've only been trying this for a few nights, but so far, it's working. You basically let the baby fuss or cry a little, pick him up, and the instant he stops crying, you put him back down. You can pat his back until he begins to really cry again, then repeat the steps of picking him up to soothe him. At first, Aiden resisted and cried a bit, but now all it takes is a few back pats and he only fusses a little before dropping off to sleep. For the past two nights, he has slept from 9 pm to 5 am. Woohoo! Success!

We now take a break from our regularly scheduled program to bring you this baby butt:

Yes, he likes to stand up and hold himself up to watch the water filling his bathtub. And, no, he's not even five months old yet. I have a feeling we'll be in trouble when he can finally figure out how to get around on his own! This is one active, athletic baby!

And now, this poorly framed family portrait:

And, finally, an announcement! I have decided to participate in NaBloPoMo! Let's hope I can come up with some interesting stuff to talk about every day in November... Have a great week, all!

Friday, October 26, 2007
in which Kelly learns to hate doctors even more
First things first... Jason's surgery went well and he is resting at home. Only time will tell if this did the trick. If his symptoms of nausea and stomach pain don't return, problem solved. If not, then we have to figure out something new. He's very sore and experiencing pain from the operation, but doing fine.

But things just couldn't go smoothly, could they? Oh, no. A few issues during the day at the hospital have me reiterating my previous statement that our health system (more notably, some of the so-called "professionals" in that health system) sucks big donkey balls.

First issue? We needed to be at the hospital by 9am, and Jason's surgery was scheduled for 10:30. He was the first patient in the OR that day. The surgeon (who I have never really liked- totally crappy bedside manner) came by and said they would get him in the OR by 10:30 or 11am. We said goodbye and watched the nurse wheel him away around 10:30. Then we sat in the waiting room. An hour later, the nurse comes in and says, "I'm sorry, but there has been a big mixup." What? A mixup? Did they remove the wrong organ or something? No, apparently Jason was still waiting in the OR, because his bitch of a doctor FORGOT she scheduled a meeting for 11 and decided to make her patient wait, rather than reschedule the meeting. So Jason's surgery didn't actually start until later, and he had to wait nervously, in anticipation of getting cut open.

Next. The surgery was to take about an hour, hour-and-a-half tops. The only way it would take longer was if there was an issue doing it laproscopically and he had to be totally cut open. So, we sit in the waiting room. One hour goes by. TWO hours go by. Finally, 2 1/2 hours pass and I ask the attendant to find out what the hell is going on. She pages the doctor, who finally finds the time to come and consult with me. Oh, yeah, she says. Surgery went fine, it was finished a while ago. But I guess she was just too busy to bother coming to speak with us.

Finally, they discharged Jason around 8 last night. They send him home with some prescriptions, the most important of which is a high-powered painkiller to keep him comfortable. We stop by the pharmacy by our home, right before it closes, to get the script filled. But GUESS WHAT! The idiot doctor who discharged Jason WROTE THE WRONG NAME on his prescription! They wrote another person's name, so the pharmacy wouldn't fill it. We call the hospital, only to find out that they can't fax over scripts for this particular drug, since it's a strong narcotic. Flipping fantastic.

My mom, who is a freaking saint, had been staying home with Aiden while I picked up Jason. She told us to settle in at home, and proceeded to go all the way back to the hospital to get the meds for us. But then she had to wait for 45 minutes while the hospital pharmacy got the new prescription and filled it. My poor mom didn't get back to our house until 11:30 last night. Can you believe this crap?? Thank god for my mother. She's the best.

I seriously couldn't make this shit up. I am so tired of it all and am just hoping that Jason's health issues are solved, so we don't have to deal with all these hospitals and doctors anymore. I've had enough.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the news...
I mentioned back in July that my husband has been having some health issues, particularly related to his stomach. First, he was diagnosed with an ulcer. Then, despite the meds he was given, things just kept getting worse. I haven't written about it much because, frankly, it's been depressing enough to live it each day, without reliving it here. But now I'm needing to vent.

It's gotten so bad that Jason's been visiting the emergency room, on average, at least once a week. ONCE a WEEK, for Christ's sake. He's been nauseous, and dealing with stomach pain, since late June. We've been to countless doctors, he's taken countless tests, and no one could tell us exactly what was wrong. Endoscopies, CT scans, colonoscopies... you name it, Jason has endured it. We learned that the ulcer is gone, but obviously some other problem remained. He is having these awful attacks of stabbing pain in the middle and right side of his abdomen.

It has been terrible for our family. Jason feels like shit, he's missing work, and he's not really well enough to help me with the baby or for us to have any fun together. We are all miserable and sick and tired of this crap.

On Sunday, it was "rinse and repeat." He started feeling worse, and I drove him to the ER that night. This time, rather than just give him pain meds and send him home in a few hours, they agreed to admit him to the hospital. Fortunately, one of the Gastroenterology doctors agreed with what we've been saying all along... Jason is exhibiting all the symptoms of gallbladder disease. The problem has been that many of the tests haven't backed up that conclusion. Docs have told us it "seems" like his gallbladder is okay, based on some scans and bloodwork. However, my research (and yes, I know that I am not a doctor but I care more about my husband's health than any PhD) shows that sometimes tests don't confirm gallbladder inflammation or disease. Most of the time, their tests just show if there are gallstones. But you can have a sick gallbladder without having stones. And get this... some studies have shown that 50% of people who had their gallbladders removed (without tests that confirmed their condition)... said their symptoms disappeared.

Obviously, most surgeons don't want to operate without proof. But that has meant that Jas continued to suffer. Finally, after week upon week of hospitalization with the same symptoms that seem to scream "GALLBLADDER!" we have a surgeon who is willing to remove it for him.

Best case scenario? Jason feels better and our family can move on from this nightmare of pain and medical overload.

Worst case? This isn't really his gallbladder acting up, and he has a low-risk surgery that doesn't give us the desired results. You might think we are crazy for doing this surgery and removing an organ without absolute proof, but that's how desperate we have become. Nothing has worked, and we've gone down every avenue in hopes of a definitive diagnosis. If this doesn't work, at least we know for sure that we need to look somewhere else.

I've developed a real disrespect for many in the medical community due to this experience. We've seen so many doctors, and we have had to FIGHT to be seen and heard. We've had to ARGUE for tests. We've had doctors say, "I don't know what's wrong with you, but there's nothing more I can do. Sorry" only to visit another doctor who CAN recommend some different tests. It's just so discouraging that we have to fight so hard and keep hitting dead ends. It makes me wonder about those who aren't able, for whatever reasons, to be a good advocate for their health. How many people suffer and fall through the cracks because of the jacked-up medical system we have? It makes me furious.

I am hoping beyond hope that this surgery solves Jason's health issues. It's scheduled for this Thursday, and I hope it's the first day of a new, healthy life for our family. God knows, after the hell we've gone through for the past four months, we deserve a fricking break.

Saturday, October 20, 2007
Two teeth! Oh my!
Oh, yes.... I do have a blog. Wouldn't you think that since I am now a work-at-home mom I might have a little more time to update here? But I've found it even more difficult to log on here and muse about our family's happenings. Perhaps that is due to some illness and some teething!

What does that tell you about my karma that Aiden would suddenly sprout two teeth at the same time as I am fighting off a nasty cold? For the past week or so I have been suffering from a nasty cough, which (stop reading now if you don't want to hear something gross) resulted in some gross phlegm and painful hacking in my lungs. Then this nasty cold decided to invade my nose and gave me nosebleeds for a few days. (Gosh, I hope you aren't eating while you read this. If so, my apologies!) I am just now feeling a little better, thank goodness!

During this time period, my little overachiever decided to cut not one, but TWO teeth! He's only 4 months old, but apparently his teeth are on the fast track. Both of his bottom teeth cut through, and they are quickly moving into position. It's adorable, but I haven't been able to get a good photo of it yet. Aiden was such a good boy, and handled the whole thing very well. He was a little cranky, but overall he did great!

Unfortunately, it seems he now has my cold. The poor baby is coughing a little, especially at night. It doesn't seem too bad, though, which the doctor attributes to my breastfeeding. I hope I've given him enough antibodies to help him avoid a bad cold!

Now, for some advice. Just wondering what you think about this situation... Aiden L-O-V-E-S to nurse. Almost too much. He doesn't demand to nurse all the time (on average it's about three hours between meals a day). The problem is, he refuses to go to sleep without nursing. Generally, if you put him down while he is awake he goes crazy and bellows. I've tried letting him cry it out, but I feel very uncomfortable about that, and even when I let him cry for 20 to 30 minutes he just cries more, rather than settling down.

My other problem is at night, with sleeping. Aiden very much prefers to sleep with us, which I don't really mind now that he's older and a sturdy 18 pounds. He'll sleep next to me all night without making a peep. But if he's in his crib, all of a sudden he's waking up numerous times crying and disoriented. I don't want to "spoil" him, but I really don't think you can spoil a baby this young. What do you think? Any advice? I'd love for him to sleep in his crib but I don't want to force him until he's ready and comfortable.

Speaking of sleep... I think I need to get to bed. Aiden's definitely sleeping with us tonight. With his cold, he's very attached and needy right now, and he's waking up screaming and coughing. No way will I push the "sleep in your own bed" issue tonight. He just wants to be with mama and nurse 'til he feels better.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Laughing at daddy

The whole family!

With Aunt Kasey on his first boat ride (and crabbing for some blue crabs!)

With Gram on his first boat ride.

Snuggling with mama.

Saturday, October 06, 2007
moving forward
Dear Aiden,

You'd better love your mama. She's now going to have to clean the whole house herself since she quit her job for you! No more maid for mommy. This fact alone should convince you that you are the most loved child on the planet.


So... Aiden's 4 month checkup was yesterday. My kid seems destined to be some sort of athlete. Boy do we have a bruiser on our hands.

Weight: 18 lbs, 2 ounces (97th percentile)
Height: 27.5 inches (he's off the charts on this one... bigger than 100% of other kids his age)
Head: 17.5 inches (smarty-pants with a big ole' brain)

He's been rolling over for a month now, and this boy LOVES his hands. He's always grabbing things, and loves to pat my face. So sweet. I'm so glad to have a healthy, robust boy. The only downside is that so many of his cute little clothes are already too small and have been packed away. Don't grow up too fast, baby. :)

Friday, October 05, 2007
new chapter
Today is my last day at work...

Just a few more hours and I am outta here!

(shouldn't I be feeling more depressed about this? Cuz I'm not.)