Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Coming up for air
I'll start this post by high fiving all of you moms out there who manage to update your blogs at least every couple of days. I bow down to you with the utmost respect and also pose a question... how the hell do you do it? I feel so bad about not updating my blog, but this tiny little person in my life has made even weekly updates impossible for me lately!

Aiden says: Yo, mom... get off the computer and come here. I have crap in my pants and need a boob to suck on!

And also: Oh, is that what your face looks like? Like most guys, I'm usually too occupied staring at your chest to make eye contact!

I'm hopeful that I'll be able to start writing here more regularly and also catching up on your blogs, too... we're finally getting on a schedule and I think I'm adjusting to my new role as Mommy. Right now the little prince is sleeping in his bouncy seat next to me as I type. Now the hard part is figuring out what to write, instead of just staring at his adorable little face!

I'm definitely feeling more like myself now than I was at first. I never figured that I'd be hit by the "baby blues" but it happened. The first week home with Aiden, and some of the second week too, was really difficult. I just felt so overwhelmed and shocked by all we went through, all of the sudden changes in our life, and oh yeah, the sleep deprivation. The part that really made it bad was breastfeeding. Aiden was eating so often that I felt like he was permanently attached to my chest, and it was my burden alone. No one else could help when he woke up hungry numerous times overnight. Plus, it was hard to just get the hang of it, and damn, did my nipples hurt!

Pretty much that whole first week, I would cry at the drop of a hat. I remember tearfully telling Jason that although I loved Aiden, I felt guilty that maybe I didn't love him enough. That was because I thought I was supposed to be totally filled with love and sunshine and butterflies. I didn't expect for that tiny voice to creep into my mind that said, "Oh my god... now that we've had this baby, our lives have changed forever. What have we done!" I admit it, I mourned a little bit for our previously carefree lives. I didn't expect that I would curse in the middle of the night when the baby demanded to eat again, just 30 minutes after a feeding. All of that made me question, "Am I am awful mother? What's wrong with me? Why don't I just smile and love every minute of this?"

Finally, I realized. I love my baby, but I don't love every minute of the hard work that goes along with caring for an infant. And THAT IS OKAY! It doesn't mean I adore Aiden any less. But it does mean that I need to ask people for help sometimes, give myself a break, and take care of me, too. Realizing that has been the key to me coming out of that baby blues fog and truly enjoying my first weeks as a mom.

Something else that's helping is my sweet little angel baby. Aiden's learned the difference between day and night! He spends tons of time awake and alert during the day, but at night, he passes out. We have a routine of bathtime and feeding at night, and he generally falls asleep for 4 hours straight after that. Then he'll wake up, eat again, and usually give me another 3 hours or so to sleep. That definitely helps me feel more human! :)

Anyway, things are going great now. Aiden is growing more every day and his little personality is really developing! He loves to look at toys and play in his activity gym. He coos and smiles (and I don't think all of the smiles are from gas)! According to my bathroom scale, he weighs 10 pounds and he's getting these adorable rolls on his chin and thighs! I can't believe he'll be 4 weeks old this Friday... the time is flying!

Friday, June 15, 2007
Aiden's Birth Story
Even though he was nearly a week past his due date, Aiden still hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to leave his comfy home in my belly. So, on Thursday, May 31st, my doctor said we should call the hospital to go in for an induction. I called Labor and Delivery bright and early that morning, at 7:30. Unfortunately, there weren’t any open rooms at the moment, and I needed to call back around 10:30 to see if anything had changed. While Jason slept a little longer, I showered, shaved, blow dried my hair, and put on some makeup. Hey, might as well look nice for as long as I could, right?

I called back at 10:30, but still no open rooms! I was assured that I was at the top of the induction list, and should call back again in a few hours to check the status then.

I didn’t have my hopes up when I called back around noon. Imagine my surprise when they asked how soon I could get there. “I live about 15 minutes away,” I said. They told us to head in to the hospital. Oh my gosh! This was actually happening!

We quickly gathered the rest of our stuff and jumped in the car. I was feeling so nervous at this point, but Jason was very calm. I was starving, so I had him stop at Chick Fil A and get me a chicken sandwich and a fruit cup. Hey, I needed some energy for the task ahead of me!

At the hospital, we realized that we must not have been paying much attention during the tour, because we got lost on our way to L & D. Thank goodness I wasn’t in labor and in pain, because I don’t think I would’ve liked that too much. Finally we made it to the right place, filled out some paperwork, and they took us to our room. It was crazy to think that this would be where our baby would be born!

I changed into my hospital gown and Jason and I settled in. Soon, the first of what would be three different nurses (thank you, long labor!) came in to start my IV and get the Pitocin going. She was sweet and chatty, but I really didn’t have a lot to say because HOLY CRAP I am about to HAVE A BABY! I probably just nodded a lot and mumbled “baby” a few times to her.

Since my cervix was almost fully effaced and 1 cm, I didn’t have to get Cervadil. That was nice, because it would shave off a few hours in the whole process. By 2:30 in the afternoon, they had started the pitocin. It was a pretty low level though, because they wanted to build me up slowly. The dosage was doubled every hour.

For hours, it was easy as pie. I could feel contractions, but they were pretty mild. We could see on the monitors that they were coming 2 to 3 minutes apart. I felt great and we spent a lot of time walking around the hallways with my IV in tow. We were pretty bored, really, and wanting something to start happening! I realized that daytime TV sucks, and we spent hours just staring at shitty shows on the tube.

My mom, my sister, Kasey, and my mother in law, Linda showed up around 8pm. By this time the contractions were getting stronger but I wasn’t making much progress. The doctor checked me and basically “stretched” me to 2cm (oh, was that a lot of fun!) but my cervix wasn’t really doing much.

My best friend during this early labor was the birthing ball. It’s like those exercise balls you can do crunches with. I sat on it and sort of bounced my way through the contractions. I figured that I might even decide not to get an epidural, because sitting on the ball felt so good and really eased the discomfort. (Dumb girl… I had no idea what I was in for!)

I remember we all watched that Fox show, So You Think You Can Dance, at 9pm. I didn’t really pay a lot of attention, though. I was feeling more contractions and hoping that my damn uncooperative cervix would get with it and dilate, already!

At 11pm, the doctor checked me again. And guess what? No progress. I was pretty pissed off. Obviously I wasn’t having a May baby at this point… we were just an hour away from June. The doctor offered an option, called the foley catheter. Basically they put a little catheter in your cervix, and gently blow it up with saline. It manually dilates the cervix to 4 cm over a few hours, and really kickstarts further dilation. I figured, why not? So we did it.

Oddly enough, the inflation of the catheter didn’t hurt. But the doctor had trouble getting it in the right spot and keeping it in the cervix to inflate it, and THAT was not pleasant. I tried that bullshit breathing I learned in the birth classes, but it was like I just said… bullshit. Didn’t really help me too much!

I was glad when the catheter part was over, and looking forward to some relaxing, but that was not to be. Fortunately, my cervix got a clue and decided it was time to start doing something. And by midnight, my contractions were really hitting home. I felt like crap.

My family, including Jason, stepped out to grab a little food before the cafeteria shut down. While they were gone, the contractions got worse. I got some Stadol to help ease the pain, but that didn’t really work. I felt drunk, like I had too much wine, which was nice in between contractions. But the contractions themselves hurt like a bitch!

My nurse casually mentioned that the anesthesiologist was on Labor and Delivery doing another woman’s epidural. I asked if I could sign up to be next. Forget my fear of the big ass needle… I wanted some pain relief. I called Jason and drunkenly (remember the Stadol) said I was getting the epidural and get his butt back to my room. Then the anesthesiologist walked in, and he was hot! At least I think he was… maybe it was the Stadol or the promise of sweet, sweet numbness that made me think that.

He asked a bunch of questions, which I tried to answer but just sort of mumbled through. I felt so damn drunk from the Stadol. I remember he asked me about my being a news anchor as he was looking at my bare back (and ass, I might add). I have no idea what sort of reply I offered. Jason had made it back to the room by this point and was actually laughing at my disoriented state, so I know it must have been bad.

People, let me tell you. I thought the epidural would hurt. But I seriously felt less pain getting that, than I did when they put an IV into my arm. I felt a tiny pinprick, then a cooling tingly sensation, and that was it. I kept waiting for the BIG PAIN, but it never happened. The contraction pains eased off immediately. Epidurals are the best thing EVER. The end.

We all settled down to try and sleep, which didn’t really happen. I didn’t have pain, but I was so anxious and excited that I couldn’t really sleep. Poor Jason got maybe 45 minutes of sleep. Around 5am, they checked me again and I was almost 5 cm. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

This is where it gets scary. All of a sudden Aiden’s heart rate started showing signs of distress. It would drop too low after contractions, so they flipped me on my side and gave me oxygen. They also backed off big time on the pitocin, to give him time to rebound. I was terrified, because I could hear his heart rate drop and I could tell the doctor wasn’t pleased with what she was seeing on the monitor.

Thankfully, Aiden responded well to our efforts to give him a break. He bounced back and they started to up the pitocin again. By 10:45 am, I was at 7 cm!

It was then that I felt like my epidural wasn’t working as well. I started to feel contractions again, mostly on my left side. I got a bolus of extra medicine and that helped, but only for an hour. The doctor checked me again around 12:30 and we discovered why I was feeling more pain… my contractions had gotten so strong I was at 9 cm and almost ready to push!

Shortly before 1:30pm, I was at 10cm. Unfortunately, I was still feeling some contraction pains, but didn’t want to be so numb that I couldn’t push, so I waited to take more medicine. I remember being so scared and also very tired at this point, after nearly 24 hours of labor. I started to shiver and yawn a lot, and as I did my first few pushes I got nauseous.

The next few hours were the toughest of my life. I ended up pushing for 3.5 hours. I was so exhausted, and became so frustrated that things weren’t moving more quickly. The only key to my getting through it was Jason. He was the best coach… encouraging and loving, but also demanding that I push HARD and get this over with. When I think back, I can only remember his voice in my ear telling me to keep going.

Pushing didn’t really hurt, but the contractions did. I had an awful pain in my back that wouldn’t go away, even in between contractions. I would twist and turn and try to relieve the pain, and Jason would rub my back hard, but it just ached. After hours of dealing with this I finally broke down and just started to cry silently. I looked at Jason and saw tears in his eyes, too. He felt so helpless that he couldn’t do anything to relieve the pain.

It didn’t help that shift changes had happened and we had the bitchiest nurse ever helping me push. I remember snapping at her to help me out and hold my damn leg, because wasn’t that her JOB? She got better after that and was okay to deal with.

Jason suggested that I try using the mirror to see how well I was doing. With every push, they could see Aiden’s head, and Jason thought I might feel encouraged if I could see it, too. I never thought I’d want to do that, but I agreed, and it was a great decision.

With every push, I threw all of my strength into it, then glanced in the mirror to see the progression. It was amazing to see his little head moving closer and closer. Finally, my doctor said his head was about to crown. That was scary, because I knew that the next push could result in a tear or episiotomy. I felt the contraction and just pushed gently, almost in a pulsing rhythm to ease him out, and I felt his head pass through. No pain, just the sensation. It was so odd and amazing.

Jason started to cry at this point… and he kept crying for probably the next 15 minutes. The next push brought out one shoulder, then the other. I could feel as he sort of slid out... it was so surreal. Aiden Michael was born at 4:50pm, and started to wail, joined by his Mom and Dad. We were one big weepy family. They put Aiden on my chest and I just felt like I was in shock. This big, beautiful boy was inside ME for the past nine months?? He seemed both huge and so delicate at the same time.

Jason went with Aiden to the warmer while the doctor delivered the placenta. I watched as Jason continued to cry (he was in love instantly, don’t you think?) and Aiden was foot printed and given his Apgar test. He scored 8 and 9. Finally Jason brought him back to me all bundled up, and we just sat together and looked at each other. Aiden’s eyes were open, and he looked at both of us wide-eyed. We had just become a family of three.

I was so lucky, despite the long labor and pushing, that I didn’t tear or need an episiotomy. I felt a little sore that night, mostly at my epidural site. The next morning, I felt just fine. I didn’t even really have any swelling, and going to the bathroom didn’t hurt at all. Two days after Aiden’s birth, I felt 100%. I know, I’m very lucky.

I’ll write more soon, about how the past two weeks have been, and how tough it was for me to adjust during that first week home. I probably cried every day and felt pretty overwhelmed. Thank God I’ve been blessed with a little angel who decided last week to start sleeping for 3 or 4 hour stretches overnight. A little sleep has helped me feel much more human, and much more capable as a mom.

The whole experience of Aiden’s birth was amazing. I learned so much… about how hard pushing was, about how amazing my husband is, and about how much strength I actually have. I sort of feel like Superwoman! I carried this little miracle for nine months, and brought him into the world, too! Simply amazing.

Monday, June 11, 2007
10 days old
I know, I've been terrible about updating! But, DAMN, taking care of a baby is hard work! Be patient... I'm getting into the groove and hopefully will be posting more soon!

Monday, June 04, 2007
Welcome to the world...
Aiden Michael

June 1, 2007
4:50 p.m.
7 pounds, 15 ounces
20.5 inches long

More pics to come later! Just wanted to get these up while he's napping and I had a spare moment. Thank you all for all the good wishes. He's so gorgeous, and we are completely in love!

Friday, June 01, 2007
And the winner is . . .
whoever picked June 1, 2007 as the birthday of Kelly's baby boy!

Hey guys, it's Kasey again!

At 4:50 pm EST Kel gave birth to a very healthy (and grumpy due to uterine eviction) 7lb 15oz baby boy, who is 20 1/2 inches long! Mom, Dad and Baby are all doing amazing . . just very very tired.

Yes, 4:50 is WAY later than we anticipated. She ended up actually pushing for 3 hours, which I cannot IMAGINE, being a baby free young person myself :]

The labor lasted a grand total of 27 hours. Yeah, LONG. Anyway, I am actually off to bed, because during those 27 hours, Aunt Kasey got about 45 minutes of sleep, thanks to my nephews stubborn love of his belly home. So, bye now! I'm sure Kel will be updating you guys with pics and details! Thanks for all of your support, she really truly does appreciate the love of her online buddies.

PS- They haven't named him yet. We are supposed to find out tomorrow after they make their decision tonight. Meanwhile, I've just been calling him Baby John Doe. Goodnight all!

Baby is . . . still on board
Hey everybody, this is Kasey, Kels younger sister updating you all on the baby situation, because she wanted you all to be in the know.

The big news is; he is still insisting on being fashionably late (which is quite unlike his punctual parents).

They began inducing yesterday around 2 pm, and it's been slooooooow going ever since. Last time she was checked she was at about 5 1/2 cm, which is definitely progress, but still a long way to go. They've told us hopefully we'll have the newest addition by lunchtime (but hey, they originally told us to expect him by around 7 am, which clearly didn't happen, so we'll see)!

Mom and Dad are doing well, just tired and just a little frustrated, but all in all pretty optimistic.

And yes . . . there WAS an epidural, and apparently it's one of those decisions she will always look back on and smile about. A pain free pregnant lady is a happy one.

So, that's about all for now. Just playing the waiting game. Hopefully you'll be getting a post pretty soon about some baby ACTION!