funny how things turn out

Well, maybe I was obsessing for no reason about my job. It seems that things just worked out on their own. Yesterday my boss called me into her office and let me know that since we can't come to an agreement on my hours, that they aren't going to keep me on the morning newscast.

I could go back to my old schedule, but that obviously isn't happening. I'm not willing to work all day with Aiden in daycare for 10 or 11 hours. I'm not being fired, but since they won't compromise with me about the hours I will work in the mornings, it essentially means that I won't be working here much longer. I suppose that I could potentially work here part-time as a reporter, but they really only want full-time employees right now, so this is probably the end of the road.

I'm a little relieved that I didn't have to make this leap on my own. Even if management had agreed to the hours I requested, we were still considering the possibility of my quitting, just for our family's quality of life. Now, rather than obsess about this, my bosses made the choice easy for me. If I couldn't have the hours I needed, then I'm done here. Simple as that. I guess this is the first thing I can actually thank them for... making my decision easier for me. It's not really tough to walk away when your employer won't compromise with you.

I'm a bit annoyed because they haven't told me when my last day will be on the morning news. I am guessing that they may want me to keep me in this position until a new anchor is hired, but that could take months. Jason and I have yet to discuss how long I want to be here. On one hand, it would be nice to get my paycheck for a few more months, but we're seriously needing some sleep and Jason is like a zombie at work because Aiden's waking up early every day (to the tune of 2 or 3 am) and keeping Daddy awake for hours.

We have lots of discussion ahead of us! Maybe we'll get a chance to chat during our anniversary dinner this weekend. Yep, on a bright note, today is our fourth anniversary! Last year, I made a very special announcement here on this blog on our anniversary, about the very best gift we could give each other. I must say that gift... our son... just keeps on giving. He may have brought about some drastic changes to our life, changes that are both exciting and nerve-wracking, but we are so grateful for our family.

I'm so excited, and definitely nervous, about the many big changes ahead for our family. It's gonna be fun to see what transpires!

exhaustion

I'm tired.

I miss my husband.

I'm being yanked in too many directions.

Suffice it to say that this schedule is kicking my ass. I'm doing my best, but I don't feel like I'm able to give my best to everything. It's tough to try and be a great employee, a great mom, and a great wife, not to mention giving myself any down time. All on just 4-ish hours of sleep. Yeah, you read that right.

Aiden doesn't like this new schedule. He's made this painfully apparent to me by completely abandoning his (admittedly too-good-to-be-true) pattern of sleeping 8 to 10 hours straight at night. Now I have to fight to get him to go to sleep by 8:30, and he's up screaming by 1:00 am. Not good when you need to wake up around 2am. This morning I nursed him around 1:00 but he woke up crying right at the time I had to leave. I left a bleary-eyed Jason pacing the halls with him.... which ends up making Jason pretty damn tired when his alarm goes off, too.

Despite the allure of my paycheck from the TV station, I must say that we are now seriously considering the option of me quitting and becoming a part-time work-at-home-mom. I have a lot of ideas and business ventures I'd like to try, and I think we are seeing that our quality of life needs to be top priority. Jason and I are barely getting any time together, because I'm heading off to bathe the baby and get us both to bed at about the time Jas gets home after a long day. We want to spend time as a family, and time as a couple, and I would like to get more than 4 hours of sleep each night. Oh, and I miss watching TV at night. All these premieres on television and I can't watch! Boooo.

Adding to my strong urge to up and quit is the current scenario at my job. We have new management at our station and they are trying to completely re-work my position. I am being pressured to work extra hours and do nearly double the duties, and I've had more than one heated conversation with my boss. I am starting to think that maybe this place isn't a good fit for me anymore. I just don't want the stress and the drama.

Anyway, all of this has us thinking hard about our priorities and what we want one year, five years, ten years from now. Much discussion and pro-con lists are in our future, to be sure.

*&#*$#* tire

You know, driving into work at 2am is fun enough. Do I really need a flipping FLAT TIRE to add to the fun? Apparently, I do.

And even more exciting? Nearly getting creamed by a tractor trailer while sitting on the side of the road with my flashers on.

Simply fantastic. TGIF, everyone.

coffeeeeeeee

Oh holy hell. Adjusting to this morning schedule is definitely kicking my butt right now. I've been up since 2:15am. Needing copious amounts of coffee to function right now. You know what's sort of unfair? Being expected to speak in coherent sentences and look attractive when you should be SLEEPING. Oh well, I asked for it, didn't I?

On another note. I know everyone's been talking about it, but what the hell is wrong with Britney Spears? I just can't understand how she became such a train wreck. I mean, this is the girl who gave us the rhinestone covered nude jumpsuit at the VMA's back in 2000. The girl who made out with Madonna a few years ago. But this performance the other night was just so uninspired. She looked like she was tranquilized. At the very least, she could have flashed her bare ass (it wouldn't be the first time). Or she couldv'e used some magic tricks from her new boyfriend Criss Angel. Anything... something!

Maybe this makes it seem like I care about Brit Brit's career. I really don't... I'm just shocked that a manager or friend or SOMEONE might have clued her in to what a joke that performance was.

Oh, and is anyone watching Rock of Love? That guy Bret Michaels from Poison is sarching for true love (or let's be honest... a quick lay). It's both awful and addicting at the same time. The biatches are crazy... competing for the affections of a washed-up, botoxed, lip gloss wearing rocker. The only girl I really like is Jes. Her pink hair is actually so cool I wish I could do that myself. But she's actually so cute and nice that I don't think she should be with a guy like Bret.

Just read the above paragraph, and om my god I need to get a life. And some sleep. Gah.

Three months