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Sunday, November 20, 2005
We're just human
Wow... feeling very philosophical after tonight's Grey's Anatomy. Not sure what it is about that show that just always gets me thinking. Tonight... it's the realization of how tough it is just to go through the daily steps of life and make the choice to move on and face the next day.

It was that scene where the man (who has awakened after 16 years in a coma) realizes how much life has changed. By no fault of his own, he's been removed from his family and they have moved on. Wife's been remarried, his son is in shock and avoiding him. This man is all alone in the world, wakes up to find his life forever altered. Yet he decides to have a life threatening surgery because he says that he has to look to the future and start his life over again. Hey, I know it's just TV... totally fictional... but I can't help but think of how many people have faced real, similar circumstances. People beaten down by what life has thrown at them, and yet they still stand up one more time to face a new day.

I've never been one to air my dirty laundry, or complain about any serious issues in my life. Can't tell if it's because I don't like to burden others with my problems, or if I'm so concerned with maintaining a good image that "everything's great with me!" that I choose not to share. Right now, I think it's the latter. My life's not terrible or anything, in fact it's good right now. But I've faced a few things that have thrown me for a loop. That have had me boiling inside, but on the exterior I kept it all together. Most people who know me well probably wouldn't have ever known. I'm not suggesting I've ever faced something so serious as life or death, or even a tragic loss. But I too, have made that choice to stand up, brush it off, and move on to the next day.

I cried as I watched that scene on television. And then I continued to cry as the commercial break ensued. The tears trailed down my face as I thought of all the times I pushed my chin up and forced a smile, all for the sake of moving on and away from my troubles. 'I made it through. I didn't break down.' And yet sometimes, I think that I owed myself a little breakdown. I've been guilty of savoring the beautiful moments, and speeding through the tough ones. I've neglected the task of really thinking about a problem, working it out, for the luxury of just forgetting about it.

Maybe I've got it half right. It's commendable to look to the future, to be eager to move away from stress and into something better. But how can you keep yourself happy, in a more permanent state of happiness, if you don't stop to think about what happened, where you went wrong, and where you won't go in the future?

We're all human. Sometimes I need to remember that and apply it to myself. I'm no machine, and I'm not perfect. Life goes on... the key is to learn from that life and make every new moment, every new opportunity count.

I'm inspired for tomorrow... for my next opportunity for greatness.


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